Meet the new side-kick barb-john.

Ben

Shan had no friends, his unhealthy, un-normal, and downright uh, unhealthy lifestyle had scared off any potential well-wishers. One day however whilst performing his usual hamstring lacerations he happened upon a one legged, mute, deaf and blind child entitled barbjohn. Barb-john was not strong or especially talented (except of course the skill of having abosultely no clue what's going on, at any time) but as far as side-kick material goes, barb-john was #1. So having no sidekick of his own except a nasty underfed lab rat on his shoulder, Shan took barb-john under his wing. Having promised him glory and supassing wealth and money and riches beyond measure and...a nice wife, he slapped his new sidekick on the back (which cause him to fall flat into gravel and mud) and declared "What do you think of that my fair weathered son." Barb-john mumbled something about butterflies and tire-irons and struggled to his feet.